How such a great mood can be ruined in an instant. In my room, working on my parents presents, with christmas music playing on my laptop, my sister comes in my room saying "dad wants to talk to us about something". Reluctantly I go out, and as I enter the kitchen, my dad tells the two of us "sit down in the living room. I need to tell you guys something important". I could tell my sister was terrified as she grabbed my hand, and the two of us obediently walked to the living room. He sat down across from us, face looking solemn; then after what seemed like hours, he finally said "it's about time you guys are old enough to know what happened." I'll be struck by lightning if I say what this was about because I promised my dad, but once I'm not so shaking, I just need to talk to someone..

This went back for years. Back to 2003, and this has been kept secret from me, my sister, my cousins, all the kids of our generation. My sister and I are the only kids in this entire family who know what has been going on. I'm old enough; apparently I'm able to accept responsibility and grasp what's been happening, but my sister? She's only 10. She barely started using the computer for game purposes. As this was being told, she starting crying, terribly. Looking at her, looking at what was being told to my little sister, having this pain being brought on an innocent 10 year old girl, I cried too. 30 minutes later, I stood up saying "I've heard enough" as I walked into the backyard.

My grandma was the first person who was on my mind that I needed to talk to. I called her, having her answer "hello?", and even at that point, I couldn't even reply back without choking up from all the tears being held back. I told her what happened, I told her that dad told Britney and I what has been going on, and she replies "why, just why did your father have to tell you this, putting you and your sister through this pain?" I found myself quiet throughout the entire conversation as she tries to comfort me. It was quiet and subtle, but I heard her crying. She was crying on the other line, and having the most important person in my life cry to me, that's all my heart can handle. Her crying, me crying, I ask myself what has this family gotten itself into that family would turn on family like this. All these years I've been lied to. All these years I've been kept hidden from the cruel reality behind this so called "family". My grandma said "our family had such a good name. In Vietnam, people would envy us for being such a kind family, a family so eager to put aside their own problems to help others. The Ho family had such a big and good name known." My ass. I find that the most ridiculous things ever. I've never been this hurt before. Even breakups; those were nothing more than a pinch to my heart compared to this. I can't even look at my own family the same way anymore.

The one thing in my life I never thought, prayed would never happen. Now it's a reality. With 15 minutes till Christmas, I can't help but ask God, "why did you give me a christmas present like this? My grandma loved you, went to church 4 days in a week, prayed to you, talked to you. why would you bring tears to her eyes, and a knife through her heart?"