I don't know what it is, but it's just one of those days that for some reason you wake up mad. Idk what it is! I just feel like I wanna punch the wall or something but idk why.. But w/e the reason, I really wish I could figure it out..

I guess today started off as any other day. Just going off to school like any other day. Sitting through the same classes again. Seeing the same people. So why am I so upset this particular day? Well if I knew the answer, I probably wouldn't be feeling like this.. Or maybe it's just that one person that I keep seeing everyday that makes my blood boil? I'm not going to name who this person is, but for the people who care enough to read this, and are the ones who know me like a book, then you probably know who I'm referring too. Normally this person doesn't really get to me, but idk what it is, for some reason this person just sticks at me today.. Having my friends tell me stories of how he thinks of me, or how he's just being an inconsiderate bitch, idk but that is probably the reason I'm upset.. I mean for christs sake, I hated this guy for how long now, I don't even know, but why is it that I'm still trying so hard to befriend this person? I guess the real reason is because I'm doing it for a friend.. a very close friend of mine.. If my friend wasn't associated with this person, I wouldn't even give a fuck for that person and my life wouldn't be in total turmoil right now. However I'm forced to try and keep myself sane, well not forced, but something is holding me back, and telling me that I should be a good friend and keep quiet, rather than completely telling the shit outa him.

How long this feeling will last idk. How long until i finally had enough and explode, idk. But what I do know is, I'm tired of trying to be friends with someone who hates my guts for a stupid ass reason, and I regret ever speaking my mind, and trying to help out a friend, but in the end get that dumbass back in my life. Honestly I don't know why I do these things, but people tell me that it's the right thing to do. As for myself I don't really know anymore.. Maybe I'm just too kind and giving in to whatever shit people tell me to do. The real question is, should I start doing things for myself, but risk hurting a friend? Sorry guys, but the answer is no. I'm not the kind of person to let my friends suffer for my own sake. If I have to, then I'll bare with it. If it means my friends being happy, and me going through this mess, so be it. I know I sound like a whiner now, but this venting thing really helps me out. The very few time that I spend on this really clears my head. I apologize for all the stuff that you might not give a fuck for, but for those of you who actually took the time to read through this, I thank you =]