What is it that sets us on end to find the special someone we can trust? Is it the fact that they've been through it with you since the beginning? Was it the fact that they know you like the back of their hand? Or was it just because they said those words such as "you can trust me" even when you hardly know them?

Lately I've been finding it hard to find people who I can actually go to without having them pour to the whole world my thoughts and feelings. So at this very point I suppose I can only narrow it down to 4 people that I can truly trust with my life, and they know who they are. However, these days I find it too easy to trust people, and I honestly don't know who to trust, or if I am able to trust them nonetheless. These days, people always use the word "I promise" or "i swear", etc, but do they really mean it? Well now I don't feel that they mean shit when they say things like that. Using an example from a friend of mine, her friend went through some pretty weird and difficult changes, and he said "I promise I will try to change" and she took that promise. However as time went on, days turn to weeks, and weeks turned to months, there was no sign of that change. However she hung on with every hope that she had that he would change. In the end it didn't look like he would ever change, so that promise was left unfullfilled. I'm not saying this to point out all the obvious bitches in the world, but when you make a promise, why don't you bother keeping it? Don't bother saying those things just to make the person you want happy or sured, but isn't the truth better than anything? If you know that you can't keep that promise, then hell don't bother making a promise. I've seen too many people get hurt, even myself, and for mistakes that I made, that promises are not something to be messed around with. They may just seem like words, but having those words placed on someone you really care about, and having those words broken, well then let's just say things aren't going to go well for you.

Seriously, I'm getting fed up with people who always lie around people to make things easier for them, and if you're smart about this, which hardly anyone is, then know that in the end, you're just going to have a lot of shit on your shoulder to deal with. Make your life, as well as the people around you's lives better.


Things are a lot different than what I expected high school to be. At the end of my 8th grade year, I would get tons of advice from people saying that I shouldn't be afraid of high school, and that it was the best year that they've ever had. Hearing those things just made me look forward to it. However, that's not the case now that I've come to experience it up to my junior year..
I must admit, the first two years of high school was actually fun. Getting to meet new people, experiencing the dances ;), and all that high school stuff. But then when junior year rolled along, everything changed..
So much has happened already just within the first month of school. The endless hours of homework, stupid teachers who can't teach, hence making YOU suffer for it, constant lectures from your parents to try harder. But how is this all bad? I mean everyone has to go through this right? But that's not the point I'm trying to bring about junior year.. It's the constant drama that never seems to cease. Day by day, this monstrosity occurs over and over. I see many of my friends depressed, many of them in tears, and many of them wishing they could just go back to the days where we never had to worry about this thing called "drama". Speaking from what happened recently, as soon as you think you've solved this problem, something else occurs, and I'm tired of it. I'm tired of being friends with someone, and then the next day, they throw you aside making new "friends". I'm tired of always being there for someone, and in the end all I am to them is just a tool. I'm tired of trying to befriend someone for another persons sake, but they treat you like shit. If I knew what high school held for me, I probably would've just flunked the rest of my life and not have to go through all this that will scar me for the rest of my life. My main friends that have been there with me from the start, I thank you for all you've done, and we're still trying to get through this. But how much more I can bear with it I don't know.. My little sister anxiously awaiting the start of her freshman year, I can easily say, "Have fun, and just be ready for whatever lies in store for you". She would ask me what does that mean, but telling her now might ruin the "fun" for her hehe..
So this is the end of my first blog, and thanks to Pia doing this, I can see why. This helps a lot, and I encourage you guys do to this too. Who knows what might happen right? =]